Cracks of the false facade

I am breaking.
A smile is harder to maintain,
Feeling the cracks of the pressure that prevails,
I find myself in an awkward position,
Where the mask I wear is impossible to maintain.

My heart ripped apart,
As my gut torn outside,
I feel the invisible hand reaching,
Finding nothing to pull out.

Hollow,
My heart beats,
Frozen,
I stand in disbelief,
Calm,
My demeanor seems,
But inside I cry myself to sleep.

To feel less then before,
To shut my feelings of yore,
I shove them back where they came,
I want no part in their game.
Sick of sorrow I stand my ground,
To seek out what I found,
The bitter truth and self relief,
I hide it not,
Put all hope to sleep.
It’s hard to see,
But the end of me.

The master of misery

I am the master of my own misery,
A pioneer of self hate,
The lover of sorrow.

A broken image of a distorted sound,
An ugliness of a soul.

Left to wallow in the problems of the human condition,
I am not my own,
Not belonging to them,
Not taken by the world.

I am the master of my own misery,
Captian of a sinking ship,
A sailor who never tasted love,
A wishful poet of comfort,
A hopeful bastard of acceptance.

I am the master of my own misery,
I am me,
Always myself.

Forgotten image of love

Fearing that the night might end,
I close my eyes tight,
Hands over head,
I beg to see the last light.

As the dark crosses my mind,
The one last curtain that remains,
I freeze my sight,
To the only thing that obeys.

The image of the warm fire,
One I felt so long ago,
The eternal love of desire,
That made my life feel like a whole.

But now only the dark remains,
Hidden secret of the untruthful mist,
In ones desire,
I yearn for the lost kiss.

Foolish meaning of light

Through pain our life we give meaning,
With love we take the cause,
In silence we wait for the hope unbound,
That some will bring us home.

Wonder long on the path of the righteous,
I wonder what will you find,
Is our higher sense of purpose,
Waiting beyond those dark clouds?

For it to awaken,
Our hearts and minds need to be alike,
Searching for a meaning,
In the thick dust where the love resides.

I am no expert,
And no sage that will bluff,
What I gathered so far,
Is close your eyes and hope the ground below
Is not bound to scar.

The eyes of fate

I feared what my life would be,
I dreamt in all the vast possibilities.
In others is saw my death,
In some I witnessed my endless breath.
In one I smiled like none other,
To most I was just a bother.

No more do I look inside,
The endless hole of my demise,
Throught the dreams I once leapt
All I saw was my regret.

Even now wide awake,
I hope my life is mine to take,
To lady fate I bow down without contempt,
But my luck is my own to make.

Bad hand of destiny

In front of the mirror,
The image stares at my eyes,
The look I don’t recognise,
Baring a stranger’s note.

What did he do,
To deserve such scars,
Where did our paths divide,
Where did our destiny go,
That after a night long,
He cries in my arms,
The beating heart of sorrow.

Fate, such a strange thing,
A deck of cards unknown,
Shuffled by a strange hand,
Are we delt what we deserve?

As I hold my own bleeding heart,
I comfort the pain well known,
After all this time,
No matter the thorn of the Road,
I whisper the hope of a better tomorrow.

Born with the eyes of sorrow

Born with the feeling of dread,
Fear is the color of my eyes,
Denied the sweet embrace of love,
I only felt content and despise.

The lonesome thought,
Grasped my mind,
That happiness is a gift,
Not all men can oblige.

Sorrow was my day,
Dawn that never forgave,
The mistakes made,
Wretched steps of the past.

But now, I listen to the night,
It’s sweet whisper that it carries,
I might have been wrong,
As hope still resides.

Will I embrace the new dawn,
Or will my soul kneel,
I do not know,
But one thing is real.
A flame the sun brings,
One I once had,
A fire that the new day,
Might consume my wretched dark.

New dawn of life

For a time I was lost,
For a place I mourn the most,
Where the soul meets my mind,
Where I knew love to find.

For a second I had doubt,
I held my mind, shamed, never proud,
Broken I saw the cracks,
Under my fingers I felt the marks.

Now, I stand alone,
Afraid with the world to atone,
Sins heavy and no time to rest,
I have to put my words to a test.

Redemption never comes too cheap,
Doubt will never stop to creep,
In my world I might be alone,
In my final hour, I might now know,
For every life there is a chance,
For every sinner a new hope to advance.

Broken mask of my thoughts

For who do I carry my broken mask?
Piece by piece I put it back,
As it crumbles on my twisted mind,
They don’t see my tears I hide,
Why show something that they mock?

Alone, I take it away,
Staring at the face,
That looks back in the broken glass,
I see a stranger crying down.
Laughing through the tears,
I kneel down for my fears,
Begging for the light to find,
For someone to help,
With the burden unconfined.

But I stop the dark creeping in,
I hold my soul deep within,
Deep inside it still exists,
My hope, my love,
The strength to give.

The world turns,
Cares for none,
I will wait,
For a new dawn to come.

Cursed kiss of love

How is love perceived?
A moment, a fraction of time,
A split second that hurts eternal,
A wither that haunts the distant thoughts,
That wish to escape.

Is love the great mistress of life,
Or the eternal pain reminded,
A split second that lasts forever,
Left to the pendulum swing
Will our soul ache or suffer.

Is love merely hope,
Hiding behind the broken mask of wishes,
Making the human mind, feeble and withering,
To grasp on the cloth that slips away.

Falling, down the chasm of our own making,
We are left to wonder,
Was it all for nothing,
The memory of pain,
The bright glimpse of a kiss,
Which of the two embeds in our mind deeper?